Are You Cocooning?

Marriage is the only relationship in which people are more likely to discuss important matters with each other then they were two decades ago. Today we confide less with our parents, siblings, children, other family members, co-worker, neighbors, friends, advisors, and others. But at least we are confiding more with our spouse! Sounds great, right?

Consider a marriage in the 1920s, they spent little time in conversation, bickered when faced with a shared decision and when bickering was done, they lapsed into silence. By contrast, most married couples these days feel that their spouse is their closest confidant, best friend and when that stops being true they divorce!

It’s called cocooning, (that is only being with each other.) It places a burden upon marriage that over time can’t be met. Today we have created expectations upon a marriage that decades ago were not there. Today we want to be best friends, lovers, companions. Women want a man to be a woman during the day that connects to her emotionally and a lover at night, but men aren’t made to connect emotionally!

Marriages do far better in a context. The context of others. When marriages like individuals are isolated, they lose sight and a dimension of who they are. The simple truth is men need men to hang with. Women need women to be with, cry with and talk to. Kids need to see their family in the context of other families, friends, and relatives. We were made for community and function our best when we live in it.

This subject and a whole lot more can be explored in depth in my series called “How to Change Your Future.”

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